Finding Wholeness -

  Finding Wholeness -  

(noun) The state of forming a complete and harmonious whole; unity.

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  I have loved fitness and nutrition for many years. I was taught in life, these two things are the keys to living a healthy life- moving your body, and feeding it well.  I did this a lot, for many years and I was obsessed with eating the right things, and doing lots of exercise. However, I was far from healthy. 

I may have been doing the right things on the outside- but inside I was withering away. My thoughts in my head were always – ‘you are not good enough’. I would compare myself to every girl I met; observing her eating habits- and finding ways she was more perfect than I could ever be. 

These unhealthy thoughts and negative experiences brought on an eating disorder that held me captive for many, many years- keeping me from seeing who I truly am.

It breaks my heart to write this, because this was my life only a few short years ago. It took years to break this habit of comparison, and it still sneaks up every now and then- but it does not overpower me like it once had, because I found a third key that life never taught me about- the most important key to wholeness and health…

and that third key is love.

I am a christian, and I have loved God my whole life. That love has just grown deeper and deeper as I grow older. My knowledge of who He is expands wider and wider as I know He is just too big for our understanding.. and His love can change the world.

However I believe that love starts from finding it, and knowing it within ourselves.

I always knew God loved me… But I did not love myself. I clung to God like an orphan clinging to a guardian- knowing she was safe and looked after… understanding this guardian loved her, but not knowing the love of this guardian as a parent… not knowing the love of life as a child.

I began to love myself, changing my mindset, and focusing on the positive things about who I am. I started discovering who I am is exactly who God made me to be.

In discovering this, I found a deeper connection to God from within myself. God is love, and that love lives in us and dwells in our spirit by the Holy Spirit. 

     We can easily love others without loving ourselves- but the more we learn to love ourselves, it is as if it frees up a whole new part of our heart to live from, and to experience His love on such a deeper level.

    In learning to love myself, I found that my eyes of comparison switched to eyes of beauty. Because I realized that every human being was different. Every woman is made with her own body, her own hair, her own destiny in life- and every part of her is a reflection of her creator; for we are all made in His image.

You are a reflection of the one who created the stars, the trees, the mountains and the sea. Every beautiful thing of this world was made by God, and you are one of those beautiful things.

You are a child of God- made to live a healthy life- to live whole and free by being YOU.

We as human beings are created to live as trinity like God, 3 in 1, for we are made in His image. (Gen. 1:26). We are 3 in 1: Mind, Body, and Spirit. When we learn to live connected and in harmony with all three parts of ourselves, we find wholeness. We discover that connection and unity through Love, and we find that God has given us health through the earth itself, which He has made and given for us (Gen. 1:28). 

Through natural foods and finding exercises my body actually likes (even as simple as going for a nice walk on a lovely day), I now live free and healed of an 'incurable disease' I was diagnosed with at 19 called Hashimotos.

Through loving myself, I now live free of the eating disorder I battled with most of my life. Again, old habits still flare up, but I know there is victory in Love, and it keeps me choosing that Love, and finding even more freedom.

Every day is a new adventure, and a new discovery as we go deeper into this gift of Life. 

I believe we are all made to live in love, to know love, and to be loved. 

To be Healthy, Whole, and Free; living as we were created to live in the Garden of Eden.