The Bride

     God has really been speaking to me a lot recently about His Bride. It started last week when I decided to paint with Him. I woke up and He had given me a picture of a beautiful girl laying on the ground, waking up from something growing in her hand. Around her were dead flowers.

     I had no idea what this picture meant... it looked a little depressing, and I thought God was speaking to me about something going on within myself. So I began to paint. I didn't have a model for a face so I used my own face (which is why the painting looks a little familiar if you know me) :)
     As I painted God spoke to me about all the painting meant. It was a picture of His Bride, who has been resting, almost in the past (dead flowers)- But she is waking up again, and realizing not only who she is (new plant growing from her hand) but also who He is- her Beloved.

     That last revelation came through a dream. I had this dream about halfway through my painting (the painting took about a week, and I'm still not totally finished with it yet). But the dream I had still has a pretty big impact on how I see this painting now- and I love it so much.

So here is the dream...

     The dream began with me photographing a couple as a pre-wedding/engagement session. I was instantly in love with this couple and cared for them very deeply. They were the most perfect couple I had ever met (like, Hollywood movie perfect). The girl was very beautiful inside and out, and you could see the love for her in the guys eyes.

     After photographing them, I found out that the guy was not her groom-to-be... he was just her best friend who was 'filling in' for the groom at that time. When she told me who the groom-to-be was, my heart sank, because it was my ex. (*Now, it was not a real ex, just a dreamworld ex... someone I did not personally know in real life... but in the dream it felt very real, and very scary, and I knew I had a bad past with her groom-to-be). 

     I knew after working so closely with this couple, I had to tell the bride I would not be able to photograph her wedding because of the past between me and her groom-to-be. I loved this girl very much and I knew it would break her heart. I hated having to tell her this- and I knew she had no idea of my past or his. She talked freely and openly of her relationship, and I could see many controlling issues that once affected me, and it hurt my heart. But she was happy and bubbly as she spoke, and even told me about how all of her friends warned her about this guy, but she knows he is a good guy. 

     I then realized the person with her in the engagement pictures (who was driving us in a car at this point in the dream) was her best friend. They once dated, but then became best friends instead.

     I was amazed at how this guy stood by her, and the photos they took together were literally "picture perfect". He filled in for her groom-to-be when the groom-to-be failed to be there for her. 

    I finally told her I could not be there for her at the wedding because her groom-to-be was my ex. My heart broke, and I kept apologizing over and over again, because again, I loved her very much. I was so sorry for breaking her heart, and she began to cry. I put my arms around her telling her it would all be okay and I'm sure the groom-to-be was a totally different guy from the guy I knew... but from the things she told me, it sounded very similar and I could see the patterns of control and manipulation where she could not. Her eyes were shut, but she had such a huge heart. 

     The 'best friend' driving us in the car was just silently there, always there for her, but never 'butting in'. I could see the concern in his eyes from the rearview mirror.

     I did end up at the wedding later in my dream- I only came to be there for her. I couldn't believe I was there, but I was. It was a HUGE event, and thousands of people were there (looked like an entire town) all inside a HUGE beautiful Cathedral. The groom waited at the front with his groomsmen, and I could see their eyes pop with disbelief when I walked in, followed by hateful glares. The brides best friend was also at the front, but on the brides side (there were no bridesmaids, just him). He saw me and smiled, but I could also see some sadness in his eyes. I loved and cared for him just as much as the bride, and I could feel his saddened heart. I wish with all my heart she would have stayed with him, because I could never get over how perfect they were. 

     I made my way down the isle to my seat, but just before sitting down the bride burst in. She had a new authority about her, and she marched to the front and announced that she was not marrying the groom-to-be. Everyone was shocked. Then she turned to me, still standing by my seat, and she pointed and announced "She has shown me the truth about who I'm meant to be with!" all eyes were no turning from me to her. I couldn't believe this was happening. In one second I was happy she was not marrying this guy, and happy for this new girl standing there with authority in her voice. But the other part of me wanted to scream "no no no- I would never badmouth the groom! This was all her own revelation I swear!" But I just remained silent and shocked. 

     Then the bride ran to her best friend in her wedding dress, and chose hi. He was so happy, and I became so happy I totally forgot about the thousands of people around us, particularly hating me for ruining this wedding, and I was rejoicing on the inside that she chose the right guy.

     I woke up and realized that this dream symbolized the Bride of Christ, the Church, who had been asleep under religion for a long time (engaged). But Christ has been there for her always, never leaving her... her best friend. She will choose Christ in the end- She will realize the authority she has, and has always had. Where religion binds her, she will be freed- maybe even when it looks like its too late (the day of the wedding), She will awaken to who she is and who Christ is to her... not only her best friend, but her Groom.