The Heart.

prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love... here's my heart Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above....

So lately I've been having a really hard time with things. Sometimes I feel like I've made a HUGE mistake that has ruined everything I had in life. My heart has gotten so bad, and so far from God, that I admit, I think too much on worldly happiness, and what I've lost in this world. I think about it constantly... I guess the good that has come from this, is the past two weeks I have been running to God, diving in his word, and getting hit with some hard truth.

Last Monday, I was reading the word, and journaling, and I really felt I needed to do a heart study. I knew my heart was FAR from where it needed to be... my heart has been craving something I know it shouldn't have, and I've been really scared that I am going to give in one day, and screw up everything. So I started this "Heart-Study" with God. In the back of my Bible, it shows everywhere the word "heart" appears in my Bible. So everyday I look up 1 verse and really meditate on that verse. Also, last Monday, after journaling about this new 'heart study' I was going to do, I met a friend for coffee at Barnes & Noble. I got there before she did, so I decided to browse through some books in the christian section. I found a Beth Moore study on David. When I opened the book on day 1 it said "A Look at the Heart". On the cover, there was a small script under the title "David" that said "a heart like his". So of course I bought the book. :)

I am IN LOVE with this study, even though I am

only on day 7, I seriously look forward to waking up every morning to dive into this study. I have also been keeping up with the heart study I started doing on my own. A few days ago, I wrote out a prayer in my journal, and when I looked up the verse for that day in my Bible, I was blown away. God had literally answered my prayer in that single verse. This was my prayer...

Father, I am really struggling. You know what my heart wants so badly it hurts... and I think about it constantly. Yet I am here Lord. I need a clear sign from you... change my heart. I use to be excited to live for you... yet lately I doubt my life constantly. Why now Lord? Why did I not act on this a year ago, instead of now? I'm very scared. Please do not leave me.

My answer:

"But from there you will seek the Lord your God and you will find Him, if you search after him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in tribulation, and all these things come upon you in the later days, you will return to the Lord your God and obey his voice. For the Lord our God is a merciful God. He will not leave you or destroy you or forget the covenant with your fathers that he swore to them."

-(Deut. 4.29-31)

My favorite verse use to be Jeremiah 29:11- "for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." ... because that verse also came to me as an answer a few years ago... now I have a new favorite verse.