Poetry.

Poetry use to be my thing. It still is a huge love of mine, although I can't write it like I use to. In high school I had a whole book of poems that I took with me everywhere. Now, I don't know if it's because I'm not dealing with the same amount of emotions, which were all new to me in high school, or if I just lost my ability to write. I use to write at lease one poem a week back then.. now it's only when I am feeling something very strongly that I HAVE to get out on paper.

I think that's why I like the first 10 verses of Ecclesiastes so much, as well as Davids Psalms... its poetry to me.

Last Christmas, I published a small book of my poems illustrated with some of my photography and paintings. These are poems I started writing in 2005-2009. The last poem of the book I wrote back in August 2009. It was entitled BACK TO YOU:

If I am walking in step with You

And if what You say is true

Then why do I keep falling down-

And finding myself so turned around?

You were all I needed...

Now where have You gone?

You promised me you would stay...

Have my selfish actions finally pushed You away?

Although I don't say a word

I'm screaming inside

I beg You to humble me-

And destroy my pride.

I have kept myself from relying on You...

Making excuses for the things I do

When deep down I always knew

All I need is You.

Lord, pick me up...

Open my eyes

Give me the wisdom to realize.

Soften my heart- But strengthen it too

Lord pick me up, and bring me back to You.

I think you can view the whole book on this site: http://www.mypublisher.com/?e=SV6kgzMEAeuN_Mxd71S2urn3LTo7X3CZAaBB-0Kj27bdUrxauTj4KA==&_mp=RpTFuIP2AJWH3APUILHpLPU0OKpj26/G%0A&showform=1

idk if it works though... let me know.

There are only 2 poems that I've written since I've made that book. The first one is a poem I wrote when I use to spend a lot of time out at a boys home, that had 8 foster kids. Just getting to know these boys and the crap they've been through put something in my heart... something I can't even explain. So I wrote about it. Actually I wrote some of the things I wanted to say to their parents... wherever they were.

The other poem I wrote yesterday. Right now I am going through a lot... and I haven't written or painted in a long time (which is usually helpful for me when I am going through a hard time). So yesterday morning, before work, I sat down at my computer and began to type. This is what came out:

You said you knew the plans you had for me

And now I've done the unthinkable.

Did my actions come at any surprise?

Have you turned your back on me like they say

Yet why do I still feel you here today

Haven't I ruined everything?

Now they just keep coming at me…

Stones in their hands.

Hurtful words in their eyes.

And I just keep on running…

covering myself with a blanket of lies.

I don't know where I'm running to

But I scream for you not to let me go

You say you'll never leave me, But how do I know?

I've locked myself in a cage that I thought was safe...

And now, as I look around, is full of lions

They circle me in protection as I cry

I break down, sobbing, asking why.

How did I get here? And now there is no way out

But You told me You wouldn't leave me.

In this cage of lions, You will not forsake me

The cage is locked. The walls are barred

And there is no way out that the eyes can see…

The people on the other side continue to stare

Their hands still full of stones.

Fear coursing through my bones.

But here I'll stay, until you make a way.

I know You'll make a way.