Provision is Coming

    Last Tuesday I was at the student house cooking with a friend named Rachel, when a red robin landed in the bush outside our window. Without thinking I said "look- a red robin! God is going to provide!"

    At the time we were not talking about needs or anything of that topic- but red birds (cardinals and red robins) have been a sign to me over the past 2-3 years of God's provision being on it's way. 

    (Now, I don't know where this fits into 'theology'... but all I know is my God is the God of all creation- and I know He speaks to us in so many individual ways. This is just one of the little ways He does for me, and I love it.)

     Anyways, I spent the evening with the students, watching Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk. (Highly recommended to every person in the world- it's so good!) 

   After the lesson and chats, I needed  to go home. However, home was an hour and 20 min walk away from the student house, and it was nearly 9 o'clock at night. I didn't have the energy to walk that far- but I looked on my phone and found there was a bus that would take me home in 45 mins. 

   I went to the bus stop with Shanen (bc he was also taking the bus home) when a girl came up to us and said "do either of you need a bus ticket?". Shanen said "She does!" and the girl handed me a free bus ticket! I then remembered the red bird God had showed me a few hours before.

Provision.

  In this season I have a lot of provision needs. 

   I am planning a wedding that is going to take place overseas. I have people from England, Germany, Iran, and America all coming together for this- and I have no idea how it's going to workout. My biggest want for my wedding is for my closest friends and family here to be able to come and meet/have fun with my closest friends and family in Charleston. For new lifelong relationships to be made and for it to be a week of carefree celebrating and fun!  There is also job miracles we need, provision for visas, plane tickets, a place to live, a car for Shanen, etc, etc, etc... 

     I haven't been sleeping very well at night, and that lack of sleep has definitely caught up to my mental and emotional state in life at the moment. 

   But lack of sleep means I don't have peace- and if Jesus is the prince of peace, than this shows my focus has drifted from His eyes, and onto the circumstances around me-  or the "fog" (as I've written about in a previous blog entry).

   God has been convicting me of my poverty mindset, and last week when He started convicting me about this, I would have said "I don't have a poverty mindset!"... but I realized I have been saying more and more things like: "I can't afford..." or "I don't have the money". 

    Something Phil Drysdale said two weeks ago keeps coming to my mind as I write this... He said 

"You can have faith in something that's true, but if God didn't speak it- it can be unbelief." 

    At the time I was saying these things- it was true because I believed it. And it was true because my focus was on my needs; my focus was on my bank account; knowing I needed to save when and where I could. 

   But I would use these words in times of things I need now- like bus fare, or going somewhere with a friend. 

   If God is my provider- He won't just provide for the big things I need, but for the everyday things as well! 

    There are times when friends are going to the movies, and I just know I need to stay home and save my money- because that's where my peace is. But there are also times, like last Tuesday, where I know there is truth that I need to save money, but my peace is in NOT walking home and taking the bus. And God, as faithfully as He always does- provides. 

   I got an email a few days ago from one of my close friends who lives in Florida named Kristen (Kay Nash ministries). She told me she had a red bird fly right up to her window this week. 

This email showed me that God's provision is coming for ALL of His children- especially in this season, and in the new things He has promised that we've had to step out in.

    This year, I see so many people stepping out in what God has spoken to them for 2016. For me, it's marriage. For other's it's moving to another country. For others it could be something like ministry, new jobs, having a baby, etc. But God is birthing something new in so many people this year- and it is requiring those steps of faith before we can see how it's going to workout. And those steps start in our minds- in where we are putting our beliefs. 

    This morning I felt lead to read Philippians. I turned to chapter 4 (realizing I have been waking up nearly every night at 4am)... and in chapter 4 I found the famous verse 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (vs.13)

    But God revealed to me something new in this verse. 

    So often in the past this verse spoke to me in seasons of hardship. Seasons of being in need. But as I continued to read Philippians 4, I found Paul writing about being content in every season- in lack and in abundance. 

     Money does not make me rich. My wealth comes from God- and in Him is where I find peace and contentment in every situation in life. 

    God is a good, good Father. But as His child, when I focus on my 'needs' before what God has already given me- then whatever He does provide for will never be enough.

    God has promised to provide for us because we are His children and He loves us. But it is not His lack of provision when our eyes are focused on the wrong things.

 My eyes were focused on truth- but it was still unbelief. 

   My eyes had been focused on my needs- and not in the truth that God has it all covered. The best part is letting go in trust, and seeing how He has it covered in His plan.

     Paul writes "My God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory and in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:19

    I started writing down all of the blessings God has given me in the form of provision... 

*so many past plane tickets, an amazing fiancé, an amazing family (both here and in America), a room to live in with a really nice family, money for food, my church family here, encouragement through the community I have here, amazing friends both here and in America, - and material items like my laptop that has held up so well (Apple products) :), my phone so I can FaceTime my moms a lot- I miss them so much; clothes to wear... 

   I can go on and on... because I have so many blessings in life.

    In Philippians 4:13, where it says "Christ who strengthens me" literally means "to fuse together". He fuses His strength to mine. But not just His strength... His peace... His faith... and most importantly, His love.

    So my challenge to myself, and for anyone else in a similar season, is write down your blessings- because when our focus is on our blessings- then we have eyes to see the new ones God gives us in daily life.

     I want to live in focusing on what He has given me- to keep me living in thankfulness and the truth of knowing I already have more than enough.

    Then when He pours out more, I have the peace and thankfulness to receive, knowing I am content in both lack and in abundance.