Experiencing God's Best through Waiting

"But seek His kingdom, and these things will be added unto you. Do not be afraid little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom."  -Luke 12:31-32

     In my past, I've never been a patient person. 
     I remember wanting to be more patient several years ago. I'm sure somewhere in my journey with God I've asked Him to help me in that area- even though I don't remember a specific moment of me asking. 

     However, lately I have been thinking of patience- more specifically, the blessing God has for us in being patient. As I look back on the last serval years, I realize God gave me patience and I didn't even realize it. 
     When we have patience we are able to wait for God's timing in everything. By waiting, we are able to  receive His best.


   As many of you know, I just recently got married to the man God made to be my other half. (I fully believe Shanen was specifically made to be my life partner, and I his). Our relationship has blessed me with a patience I never knew I had. I know it's been within me, but I really see in so many ways where God has been gently drawing it out of me the last few years- like something inside of me that has been growing and blossoming without me even realizing it.

    I waited for Shanen. I always knew God had a husband for me. Not just any husband, but a promised husband. I wouldn't settle. Although after awhile, I did start doubting... and almost 'settled' with dating a few guys who were great, amazing guys- but my spirit knew they weren't the right one.

     He was worth the wait. 

     When Shanen asked me to marry him, he did not have the ring. It was in the process of being designed, but he knew that this was the timing in which he was to propose. So I was given a promise ring until the engagement ring was ready. The ring design took longer than expected and in that waiting we decided instead of two rings, I just needed the one to represent both engagement and marriage. Because that's what our whole wedding was about- unity... Oneness in the trinity. 

     While Shanen was working on the ring design and talking back and forth to the designer- I chose to know nothing about what the ring looked like. The only thing I knew, is it was opal. (My favorite stone). To be honest, there was a part of me that struggled not having a real engagement ring. While many of my friends were going through engagements at the same time, I saw the excitement with everyone around them wanting to see the ring. Part of me felt I was missing out on this experience... but then I remembered the better truth in the fact that I don't have to be like everyone else- and me and Shanen were doing this our own way. And I loved that even more.
     That's why the day of the wedding was another magical day for me, for it was the first time I saw the ring design that was designed by my love and made especially for me. 

     It was worth the wait.

Main stone is the opal (my favorite stone because it's like looking into Heaven)
There are 22 diamonds surrounding the ring (a significant number for Shanen and I) 

The sides have two moons that come together to make a heart
(when we were in different countries, we would send each other pics of the moon,
because it's the only thing we both could see)

And my favorite thing, is the trinity at the base of the ring.
All of the beauty in this ring sits upon the trinity.
He is our foundation.

    (Now, things may get a bit personal here- 

but it's something Shanen and I are very proud of.)

     Me and Shanen knew we would not have sex until marriage. It wasn't something we only wanted to do... it was something we chose, before we ever met, that we would do. That choice I had made several years before I ever met Shanen. 

     I had someone ask me before, if it was easier dating someone who wanted the same thing as me (in this area)- and I remember realizing when she asked, that my decision was not something I simply wanted to do... but it was a choice I made- a choice both me and Shanen made- and by making that choice there was no option to strive for it to be a want. 
    We had boundaries and knew we would not cross certain lines. I'm not at all saying we didn't want to cross those lines- for God made our bodies to be one. (It's one of my favorite things about how He made us.)

     To clarify, we didn't make this choice to wait out of fear of sin. I actually hate the word sin for it has been tied to religion in so many negative ways. We made the choice because we knew God is love, and God has His best for us. 

     God is Spirit, and we are spirit beings. We are made to live by the Spirit (Just look at nature and animals!) 
     In living by the spirit, I knew I was made to mate for life. And in living connected to God, I knew we would wait for His timing.
   Because the truth is, if we made our choices based only on 'sin'- we could have easily had sex back in June when we legally got married (we got legally married in America to be able to apply for a visa earlier)... and we even moved in together in July, before the wedding ceremony. 
    But we did not make our choices based on the legality of "what's right and what's wrong"... because that's law- or religion. We made our choices based on love... for God is love... and we knew His timing was the day we said our vows. We knew He had His best for us- and it would be worth the wait.

     I didn't really know God intimately until my 20's... and before my 20's I had not made this choice to save sex for marriage. So, I have had sex with other guys. 

     I know what sex is like outside of marriage, and like most relationships, all of those guys I had sex with was before the "L- word" (love) was ever thought of. 
     It was always in the order of 'dating, relationship, sex..." and then if we were dating long enough, the "love" word would possibly come out of our mouths. I really didn't care much for love, for I only really felt love for one other guy before, and all I knew is if I loved someone, they had the power to hurt me.

     Yet thinking of my past, I feel no pain, and no shame. Sometimes I feel regret, because the truth is, sex is so much more that pleasure. It comes with so much spiritual attachment, and I had to go through quite a bit of healing in different areas because of this. 
     BUT-  my heart feels so much love and joy as I realize how much God has done in my life... How much He has redeemed. With my past, came a lot of mistakes, and abuse, and even more wounds that turned into deep scars. But God redeems everything. He heals all. Sometimes that healing comes through slow seasons of waiting, and other times they come from redeeming experiences that bring wounds straight to the surface so we can deal with them, cover them with truth, and heal properly. 
    
     If you would have told me in my teenage years that I would one day choose to save sex for marriage, I would have probably laughed at you. 
     It makes me laugh even thinking about it actually, because God always knew my destiny in that. He knew I was made to be pure- and no mistake I made could change my destiny when I finally decided to pursue it. He is the one who made us sexual people- I just didn't know back then that the best came from sharing that experience with a soul mate... being able to truly give your spouse the most vulnerable part of you to them on the day you make your vows. 
     To love someone with your whole heart, and then expressing that love with your whole being- that is what sex was created to be. 

   

It was worth the wait. 

     

     But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. -Galatians 5:22

     Patience, like so many other qualities, is a fruit of the spirit- and being spirit beings, that means that it is within us. It's simply a quality that is expressed more when we live by the Spirit.

     All of this- (the man, the ring, and sex)- all of it has taught me something very special. 
God's best comes through waiting- but we are not alone in that waiting. For those seasons of waiting, for me, were seasons I will cherish as they held very special times with God.

     There will be temptation to settle- or to say 'this is good-enough', or 'We've waited long enough'... but God doesn't want us to get the 'good-enough' in life. He wants us to trust Him, to receive His best. Because we are loved, and He is our good Father. It is His good pleasure to give you the Kingdom... The best He has for you.